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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

How to Slide into a Mennonite Woman’s DMs

August 7, 2025 Andrew

Long gone are the days when a couple might meet at a church faspa or Plett gathering. Instead, the only way to strike up a conversation with a prospective partner these days is to slide […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Author Comes Home with Gold Medal in Annual Navel Gazing Competition

August 6, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local author Joseph Bergmann, 78, has come home with the top prize at the annual Navel Gazing Olympics this week. Bergmann faced stiff competition from a wide range of authors, historians, and coffee […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Has “Great Jeans” Says American Eagle

August 4, 2025 Andrew

KORN, OK Area farmer Sid Sawatzky has appeared in a really provocative ad for American Eagle this well. The ad features Sawatzky knacking zoat while sitting in a lawn chair with the barn door up. […]

Unger Suspicion

Daring Mennonite Couple Get Married on Long Weekend

August 3, 2025 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Laura Sawatzky, 22, and Nick Barkman, 23, tied the knot this long weekend to a completely empty church. “Even our witnesses didn’t show up,” said Laura. “Apparently they would rather be at the […]

Unger & Thirst

Poor Air Quality Blamed on Gassy Mennonite Man

August 2, 2025 Andrew

RIVERTON, MB A summer full of unpleasant air has been blamed on Mr. Klassen and his penchant for eating too much cheese. “I knew the bad air was coming from up north. Probably Riverton or […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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