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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Family Reluctantly Sings Another Verse in German to Please Grandma

July 12, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Relatives at an Ens family gathering this past week reluctantly obliged their 90-year-old matriarch by singing a verse of ‘Holy God, We Praise Thy Name’ in German even though they had already sung […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Ruled ‘Too Old’ to be Cruising Main Street

July 10, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A middle-aged Winkler man was fined on Friday for being ‘forty years too old to be cruising up and down Main Street all evening.’ Lyle Dueck, 65, was caught doing laps with the younger […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Exotic Dancer Thrills Audience by Removing Her Düak

July 10, 2017 Andrew

KRONSGARDEN, MB Local woman Mrs. A. Klippenstein, 22, stunned the attendees of a Jack and Jill wedding shower by standing in the middle of the living room and removing her düak. “I’ve heard these wedding showers can […]

Unger Games

Sporadic Golfer Still Can’t Figure Out Why He Sucks At It

July 9, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local accountant Ed W. Friesen took to the links for the first time this season and soon became frustrated with his lack of prowess. After just two holes, where he scored a 9 and […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Discovers $1,000,000 in Deceased Grandma’s Margarine Containers

July 8, 2017 Andrew

WALDHEIM, SK Area woman Rebecca Rempel was helping to clean up her recently deceased grandmother’s house, when she made a discovery that changed the course of her life forever. On the upper floor of Grandma Rempel’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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