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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Here’s Your Winnipeg Weather Forecast for the Next Few Months

April 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It looks like an extended winter this year in Winnipeg. Daily Bonnet meteorologists have examined the evidence and are officially predicting whiteout conditions well into June. “No early spring this year,” said Daily […]

Unger Suspicion

B.C. Premier Shuts Down Progress on Kinder Surprise Pipeline

April 11, 2018 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC Concerned that increased access to thin chocolate eggs and cheap plastic toys may adversely affect the health and welfare of British Columbians, Premier John Horgan announced Tuesday that he would do everything in […]

Unger Suspicion

Long-Suffering Vegas Knights Fan Finally Sees His Team Win the Cup

April 10, 2018 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV Long time Vegas Golden Knights fan Peter Sawatzky, 43, has suffered through many seasons without a Cup. Sawatzky, originally from Kleefeld, Manitoba, lives in Sin City during the winter and has had […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fight the Seven Signs of Mennonite Aging

April 9, 2018 Andrew

We all change as we get older, but that doesn’t mean you have to become your parents. Here are the Daily Bonnet, we’re committed to helping you identify and fight the seven signs of aging…for […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Saves Thousands By Separating the Two-Ply

April 8, 2018 Andrew

TABER, AB Local woman Maria Dueck, 43, estimates she’s saved her family more than five thousand dollars this year by turning her two-ply toilet paper into one. As a mother of twelve growing children and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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