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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Local Woman Declared Official Winner of The Mennonite Game

November 17, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Well, folks, it’s all over. After 500 years of fierce competition, Mrs. Doris Reimer of Abbotsford has officially won the Mennonite Game. Mrs. Reimer was declared the winner after successfully documenting her relation […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Storms Out of Jazz Club, Claiming “Far Too Much Sax”

November 16, 2017 Andrew

YARROW, BC Local man Peter Harder, 67, was so disgusted with a jazz performance in Vancouver this weekend that he stood up right in the middle of ‘St. Thomas’ and stormed out in a huff. […]

Unger Conviction

Bench Clearing Brawl at Mennonite Church Hockey Tournament

November 15, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A massive bench-clearing brawl involving more than twenty players, four coaches, and dozens of spectators broke out at the annual MBEM hockey tournament this weekend. The brawl was reportedly triggered after it was […]

The Daily Bonnet

A Collection of Daily Bonnet Christmas Articles

November 14, 2017 Andrew

Well, the Christmas lights are up on Main Street in Steinbach and earlier this week a reader sent me an email asking for Christmas articles she could read at an upcoming party. So, I figured […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor’s Peace Sermon Sparks Riot

November 14, 2017 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Thirty people were hospitalized and there was an estimated $12 million in property damage after Reverend Hershberger preached a twenty minute sermon on the topic of peace this past Sunday. The sermon entitled, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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