Unger Suspicion
67-year-old Mennonite Man Measures 6 7
MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Area man Earl Klassen is celebrating his birthday this week by consuming 67 pieces of plautz. “How old are you, Earl?” said friend Dave. “Are you 60 …6 or is it 7?” […]
Articles by Andrew
Unger the Influence
Trump Hires Mennonites to Shun Jimmy Kimmel
WASHINGTON, DC A team of Mennonites has been flown into Washington this week with the express purpose of shunning Jimmy Kimmel. “We’ve got them working around the clock. Frowny faces. Shaking their heads in disgust. […]
Unger the Influence
A Complete List of Jokes that Won’t Get You Cancelled These Days
In the wake of Jimmy Kimmel’s recent cancellation, we’ve consulted a team of comedians and humourists from across the United States to make a list of completely safe jokes that won’t get you cancelled. In […]
Unger & Thirst
Innovative New Packaging Only Openable with Teeth
TORONTO, ON The resigned packaging for a popular brand of throat lozenges features new “easy to open packaging” that cannot be opened without your teeth. “We’ve specially designed this package to be shred open with […]
Unger & Thirst
Mennonite Woman Discovers Huge Selection of “Cooking Wine” at Local LC
MORDEN, MB Area woman Lois Buhler, 51, was utterly amazed by the selection of top shelf Italian, French, and Spanish wine at her local LC this week. “Wow, the ladies around here cook with the […]