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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Steinbach Eyes $10 Billion Monorail

May 16, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Looking for a way to speed up transportation from the MCC store downtown to the Walmart out on the highway, Steinbach residents are now seriously considering a new citywide monorail system. “It’ll stop […]

Unger Suspicion

New Trade Deal Has Torontonians Scrambling to Find Manitoba on a Map

May 15, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON A few deal to lift interprovincial trade barriers between Ontario and Manitoba had millions of Torontonians scrambling for their glove compartments to see if they’ve got that old road atlas in there somewhere. […]

Unger Games

Jets Fan Relieved He Finally Has His Evenings Free to Get Some Yardwork Done

May 14, 2025 Andrew

RIVERTON, MB The Winnipeg Jets’ exciting, but brief, playoff run this year has been a huge setback for the Interlake’s biggest Jets fan Art Berg, 63, who’s been holed up inside every evening neglecting his […]

Unger Games

Baseball Commissioner Reinstates Shoeless Joe Just to Ruin ‘Field of Dreams’ for Everybody

May 13, 2025 Andrew

COOPERSTOWN, NY In a press conference held his afternoon in an Iowa cornfield, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced he had lifted the ban on several players including Shoeless Joe Jackson, all in a desperate attempt […]

Unger Games

Dallas Stars Sign Lionel Messi Now that NHL Allows Kicking

May 12, 2025 Andrew

DALLAS, TX Minutes after discovering the NHL has changed its rule and now allows pucks to be kicked into the net, Dallas Stars GM Jim Nill got on the phone with soccer superstar Lionel Messi. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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