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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

In Honour of Blue Jays, Mennonite Pastor to Preach Epic 18-Inning Sermon this Sunday

October 28, 2025 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Pastor Dave of South Leamington Mennonite Church is gearing up for his longest sermon yet this upcoming Sunday. “You can’t say I didn’t warn you,” said Pastor Dave, “but those Blue Jays are […]

Unger Suspicion

Abbotsford Woman Blamed for All This Rain in Winnipeg

October 27, 2025 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Abbotsford woman Stephanie Friesen has come under a hailstorm of controversy this week after apparently bringing the west coast’s rainy weather with her to Winnipeg. “I haven’t used an umbrella in October in […]

Unger Games

Ford Demands Blue Jays Throw World Series in Effort to Repair Canada-US Relations

October 25, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After an apparent gaff in running an ad that accurately represented Ronald Reagan’s views on tariffs, Ontario Premier Doug Ford is now asking the Blue Jays to “let them have this one,” in […]

Unger the Influence

White House Ends Trade Talks with Canada Over Alex P. Keaton Commercial

October 24, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The White House is fuming this week after the government of Ontario used the image of beloved Family Ties character Alex P. Keaton to promote an anti-tariff message. “Tariffs are a longstanding American […]

Unger Suspicion

Approaching Cop Car Turns Out to Be Just a Guy with a Ski Rack

October 23, 2025 Andrew

AIRDRIE, AB Area man Jeremy Goerzen, 41, slowed way down on Highway 2 near Balzac this week as he saw what he believed was a cop approaching in the distance. “Oh, jeez, better ease off […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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