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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Makes Beautiful Dresses from Old Curtains

March 4, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB The smell of musty old fabric was in the air at the West Blumenort Mennonite Church this past Sunday, as hundreds of women, young and old, paraded around in dresses made from old […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Reluctantly Agrees to Wash His Hands Once in a While to Prevent Coronavirus

March 3, 2020 Andrew

GNADENHUNT, MB After being persuaded by his wife, mother and pastor on the dangers of the new coronavirus, Mr. Toews has agreed that he’ll run some lukewarm water on his hands at least once a […]

Unger Conviction

What Happens if We Use Google Translate on Our Favourite Mennonite Hymns?

March 1, 2020 Andrew

I’m sure we’ve all tried Google Translate once in a while. Much to my chagrin it does not have a Plautdietsch option. But maybe that’s okay because we all know that it doesn’t work 100% […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Born February 29, 1944 Finally Old Enough to Have a Drink

February 29, 2020 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON A Russlander Mennonite who immigrated to Canada after World War II is finally old enough to consume adult beverages in the province of Ontario. “February 29, 1944 – that’s what my birth certificate […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift is Unrecognizable in Music Video for ‘The Menno’

February 28, 2020 Andrew

READING, PA Taylor Swift’s small town Pennsylvania roots are finally on display in her new music video ‘The Menno’, which features the 30-year-old pop sensation, through a combination of Hollywood makeup and cutting edge CGI, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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