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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

40-Year-Old Mennonite Man Still Called “Junge”

August 13, 2020 Andrew

GRETNA, MB A local real estate attorney, who just turned 40 this week, is still called “junge” by all the elderly Mennonites at his church, likely due to the fact he’s unmarried and keeps his […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Child Doesn’t Recognize Her Own Oma Behind That Mask

August 12, 2020 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Local child, Susie, 8, was really excited for Oma Peters to come over and play Uno with her this afternoon, but couldn’t figure out who on earth this strange woman was at the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Brings His Own Bible to BYOB Event

August 11, 2020 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Mr. Bender, 63, was very excited this past weekend to be invited to his first ever BYOB barbecue just a few doors over at a neighbour’s house. “It’s so nice to see the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Brings His Own Rogers To Be Covid Compliant

August 10, 2020 Andrew

WALDHEIM, SK In an effort to make sure he was compliant with all the government health advice, Mr. Letkeman, 52, of Waldheim brought his very own bottle of Rogers Golden Syrup for the annual Letkeman […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Defeats Baptist Man in Drinking Contest

August 9, 2020 Andrew

RIVERTON, MB For years Mr. Plett and Mr. Smith have had a friendly rivalry about which one of them was the most righteous man in the Interlake region of Manitoba. Well, that rivalry was finally […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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