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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Monsieur Hebert is Sick and Tired of Being Called “Mr. Hiebert”

January 11, 2021 Andrew

STE. ANNE, MB Every time he goes into Steinbach to get his curbside pickup at the Superstore or goes to deposit a cheque at the credit union, Monsieur Hebert has to put up with a […]

The Daily Bonnet

“I Thought it Said ‘Make Altona Great Again'” says MP

January 9, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After literally minutes of controversy, Portage-Lisgar MP Candice Bergen is finally speaking out about the undated photo of her wearing a camo MAGA hat. “I thought it said ‘Make Altona Great Again,’” Bergen […]

The Daily Bonnet

Senator Gets Lost on the Way to Landmark, Manitoba

January 8, 2021 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB On his way to Landmark, Manitoba during the holidays, Canadian Senator Don Plett got totally disoriented and somehow wound up in a beautiful Mexican resort instead. “Diewel, these roads are confusing,” said Plett. […]

Unger Suspicion

U.S. Capitol to Be Replaced with One Massive Banana Republic

January 7, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Just hours after an embarrassing security breach at the United States Capitol building, government officials announced the commencement of major renovations to turn the place into a “totally epic” Banana Republic outlet store. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite MLAs Concerned “Cabinet Shuffle” Might Be Some Kind of Dance

January 6, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB There was great concern among the Mennonite members of caucus after Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister announced a “cabinet shuffle” this afternoon. “We’re Mennonites. I’m not so sure we should be doing this,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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