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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man’s Been Using the Same McDonald’s Cup for the Past 15 Years

March 5, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Frank Fehr, 72, has been using the very same McDonald’s cup for the past fifteen years, all under the assumption that he can get free refills all he wants. “I haven’t […]

The Daily Bonnet

Your 2025 Mennonite Oscar Nominees

March 2, 2025 Andrew

It’s that time of year again once yet. The Oscars! Well, of course, as Mennonite we don’t watch movies, except we all know Onkel Oscar who owns a TV behind the barn out back and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Excited for New ‘Nut Kroeker’ Ballet

February 28, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After centuries of strict opposition to dancing of any sort, a new radical sect of Mennonites is set to perform the world’s first Anabaptist ballet – the Nut Kroeker. “It will surely become […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Road Workers Out Installing Fresh New Potholes

February 25, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It’s that time of year again. Construction crews are out in earnest this week trying to keep up with the demand for new 2025 potholes. “It’s a lot of work,” said veteran road […]

Unger Conviction

Church Attendance Takes Huge Hit After Pastor Excommunicates Anyone Who Doesn’t Reply to His Email

February 24, 2025 Andrew

CORN, OK Pastor Mark’s new “accountability and discipleship plan” has totally backfired, after not a single parishioner replied to his email asking them to keep track of their hours of Bible reading and service. “I’ve […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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