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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Poor Air Quality Blamed on Gassy Mennonite Man

August 2, 2025 Andrew

RIVERTON, MB A summer full of unpleasant air has been blamed on Mr. Klassen and his penchant for eating too much cheese. “I knew the bad air was coming from up north. Probably Riverton or […]

Unger Conviction

Steinbach Streets Clogged at 9:30 AM on a Sunday

August 1, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB There was a massive traffic jam on Steinbach streets this Sunday morning around 9:30 AM. Visitors, the Wiebes from Swift Current, have lodged a complaint about the level of traffic. “Oba, well what […]

Unger Suspicion

Robots Caught on Kiss Cam at Björk Concert

July 31, 2025 Andrew

REYKJAVIK, ICELAND It was an embarrassing moment for two androids at a Björk concert this week, as they were caught in full embrace on the kiss cam. “I really don’t like to embarrass people or […]

The Daily Bonnet

Sydney Sweeney Spotted on Kansas Farm in Full Mennonite Attire

July 30, 2025 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Days after launching a controversial new ad campaign for American Eagle, actress Sydney Sweeney has decided to retire to a simpler life on the farm. “At least no one will accuse me of […]

Unger Suspicion

Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau Caught on Jumbotron at Coldplay Concert

July 29, 2025 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC Chris Martin is really on a role it seems. This evening, the Coldplay singer spotted pop star Katy Perry arm-in-arm with former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. “They ducked out of sight pretty […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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