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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Top 10 Approved Halloween Costumes for Mennonites

October 30, 2024 Andrew

Of course, here in Steinbach, we don’t celebrate Halloween, but for city folks who are just pretending to be Mennonites, here are a few costume ideas for the big day. It’s always a risk anytime […]

Unger the Influence

Unger Review Loses 200,000 Subscribers After Refusing to Endorse a Presidential Candidate

October 29, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mennonite satire website The Unger Review lost three board members, two editors, and more than 200,000 subscribers this week after Andrew Unger was like, “meh, nah,” and refused to endorse a candidate in […]

Unger Games

Thousands of Winnipeggers Show Up to Church this Morning After Divine Intervention in Football Game

October 27, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A mysterious gust of wind at a crucial moment in the final game of the regular season, had thousands of skeptical Winnipeggers convinced of God’s existence. “Yeah, I’m not really much of a […]

Unger Conviction

Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween

October 26, 2024 Andrew

KOLA, MB The local MBGC church invites everyone to dress up like their favourite movie character and come sit around drinking Papsi and eating candy in the church basement this evening. “We’ll be decorating everything […]

Unger Suspicion

Elon Musk Offers $1 Million to Anyone Who Can Pry His Hands from Skinny Jeans

October 25, 2024 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA Billionaire Elon Musk is offering $1 million to anyone who is able to pry his hands from a particularly tight pair of skinny jeans he’s been sporting for the past year or […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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