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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

Mennonites Refuse to Watch ‘Worldly Series’

November 1, 2025 Andrew

ST. JACOBS, ON Thousands of Mennonites in southern Ontario have refused to join in on the festivities this evening after local pastors preached vehemently against the ‘Worldly Series’s this past Sunday. “I don’t know what […]

Unger Games

Man Who Can’t Name a Single Player Really Rooting for the Blue Jays Tonight

October 31, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Area man Larry Enns, 51, normally swears off sports completely, but for some reason is really into the Blue Jays this evening. “I’ll be on the edge of my seat,” said Enns. “Rance […]

Unger the Influence

Danielle Smith Adds Canadian Constitution to Alberta’s Banned Books List

October 29, 2025 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Alberta Premier Danielle Smith held a massive bonfire outside the provincial legislative building this week to destroy any remaining copies of the Constitution of Canada. “Had my goons find every copy they could,” […]

Unger Conviction

In Honour of Blue Jays, Mennonite Pastor to Preach Epic 18-Inning Sermon this Sunday

October 28, 2025 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Pastor Dave of South Leamington Mennonite Church is gearing up for his longest sermon yet this upcoming Sunday. “You can’t say I didn’t warn you,” said Pastor Dave, “but those Blue Jays are […]

Unger Suspicion

Abbotsford Woman Blamed for All This Rain in Winnipeg

October 27, 2025 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Abbotsford woman Stephanie Friesen has come under a hailstorm of controversy this week after apparently bringing the west coast’s rainy weather with her to Winnipeg. “I haven’t used an umbrella in October in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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