Unger Suspicion
Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi
MOOSOMIN, SK Area man Bob Sawatzky took just 5 hours to pass a semi on the highway this week, the fastest time ever recorded by a Mennonite. “I figured he was going 100,” said Bob, […]
Articles by Andrew
Unger Games
White House to Annex Toronto Blue Jays
TORONTO, ON After the Blue Jays took a 2-game lead against the New York Yankees, the Americans are utilizing the only strategy left in their repertoire— annexation. “We call it the World Series, but it’s […]
Unger Conviction
Mennonite Church to Host UFC
AKRON, PA Mennonite Church USA just announced they’d be abandoning a near 500-year commitment to non-violence by hosting several UFC events in church basements across Akron, Pennsylvania. “We’re happy to invite the Union For Christ […]
Unger Suspicion
Abbotsford Fans Get Shout Out on Title Track of New Taylor Swift Album
ABBOTSFORD, BC There was a rush to the local MCC this week to get used copies of the latest Taylor Swift album, after it was discovered that Abbotsford fans got a shout out on the […]
Unger & Thirst
Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins
ALTONA, MB Area woman Theresa Bueckert decided she’d change things up a little and add raisins to her bun dough this week. The results were, as expected, disastrous. “Oba, what was I thinking,” said Mrs. […]