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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

All Steinbach Restaurants to Serve Nothing but Pizza from Now On

December 16, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB “If there’s one thing Steinbach lacks, it’s pizza restaurants,” said local man Mr. Bueckert. “I mean, if I want to order pizza I need at least thirty or forty options rather than the […]

Unger the Influence

Liberals Just One Mennonite MP Away from Majority Government

December 15, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON With several defections in the last few weeks, the Liberals are now just one Mennonite MP away from a majority government and, of course, they’re looking for MPs who might be receptive to […]

Unger Games

Untimely Victory Throws Jets Off Pace of Being Just as Pathetic as Vancouver by Christmas

December 14, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A shocking 5-1 win over Washington last night has really put a damper on the Winnipeg Jets’ plan of being at least as bad as Vancouver by Christmas. “We’re going to have to […]

Unger the Influence

Foreign Visitors Scramble to Erase ‘Unger Review’ from Phone Before Entering the US

December 12, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Calling the website “far too sassy,” the US government announced this week they’d be checking the phones of foreign visitors to see if they had ever liked an Unger Review post. “We don’t […]

Unger Conviction

Kirk Cameron Reaffirms Belief in ‘Eternal Conscious Torment’ After Sitting Through One of His Own Movies

December 11, 2025 Andrew

NASHVILLE, TN Former 1980s sitcom star-turned-Christian apologist Kirk Cameron made headlines this week after questioning whether Hell is eternal. “But then I watched one of my own movies,” said Cameron, “and let me tell you, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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