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Articles by Andrew

Unger the Influence

Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country

January 11, 2026 Andrew

ST. JACOB’S, ON The federal government was shocked and dismayed with the results after more than $1.2 billion were spent to buyback guns in Mennonite country, with very little success.  “After months of the Mennonite […]

Unger Games

Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team Totally Destroys Slumping Winnipeg Jets

January 9, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB By the time the first period was over, the Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team were already up eight nothing on the slumping Winnipeg Jets. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Jets forward Jonathan […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Really Disappointed with Philip Yantsied

January 9, 2026 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Influential author Philip Yantsied resigned his position this week after his moral failings were revealed. The news hit hard particularly in the Mennonite communities. “I’m saddened by the news, but it also doesn’t […]

Unger the Influence

Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material

January 8, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mere seconds after longtime Steinbach MLA Kelvin Goertzen announced his retirement, Steinbach deputy mayor Michael Zwaagstra announced his intention to run, saying he wants to continue Goertzen’s legacy of giving Andrew Unger plenty […]

Unger & Thirst

US Troops Accidentally Seize One of Those Oil and Vinegar Tasting Rooms

January 5, 2026 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Rural Kansas’s most popular oil and vinegar tasting room was accidentally seized this weekend as the Trump administration tries to regain control over the hemisphere’s most precious commodity. “We’ve got their oil and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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