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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Robots Caught on Kiss Cam at Björk Concert

July 31, 2025 Andrew

REYKJAVIK, ICELAND It was an embarrassing moment for two androids at a Björk concert this week, as they were caught in full embrace on the kiss cam. “I really don’t like to embarrass people or […]

The Daily Bonnet

Sydney Sweeney Spotted on Kansas Farm in Full Mennonite Attire

July 30, 2025 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Days after launching a controversial new ad campaign for American Eagle, actress Sydney Sweeney has decided to retire to a simpler life on the farm. “At least no one will accuse me of […]

Unger Suspicion

Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau Caught on Jumbotron at Coldplay Concert

July 29, 2025 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC Chris Martin is really on a role it seems. This evening, the Coldplay singer spotted pop star Katy Perry arm-in-arm with former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. “They ducked out of sight pretty […]

Unger Suspicion

New Jurassic Park Movie Climaxes with Explosive Debate in Morden Over Existence of Dinosaurs

July 27, 2025 Andrew

MORDEN, MB In the new reboot of the Jurassic Park franchise, producers have decided to set the movie in Morden and include the most intimidating villain of all time, a group of zealous fundamenalists trying […]

Unger & Thirst

Epic Fail as Mennonite Woman Tries to Make Schmaunt Fat with Skim Milk

July 26, 2025 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Martens was in a hurry this afternoon and didn’t have time to extract the necessary cream from her dairy cow Daisy. Instead, she made her schmaunt fat using the skim milk she […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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