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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Shocked that Her Poinsettia Survived Until Christmas this Year

December 25, 2023 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Area woman Ruth Enns has been awarded Horticulturalist of the Year by the local 4-H club after her poinsettia became the only one in Blumenort to survive all the way ‘til Christmas Day. […]

The Daily Bonnet

10 Mennonites Who Are Spelling Their Last Names Incorrectly

December 24, 2023 Andrew

I know what you’re thinking – “it’s my last name, so I can spell it however I want” or “who are you to say how our last name should be spelled?” And I’m sympathetic to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man is Just About Ready to Start His Christmas Shopping

December 23, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area man Dave Wiens figured he was just about ready to start Christmas shopping and so decided to venture out to the mall in Vanapag this morning. “I know a lot of my […]

Unger Suspicion

Man Wearing North Face Jacket Forced to Walk Backwards Everywhere

December 21, 2023 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Area man Garth Bergen, 41, has discovered that ever since he bought that North Face jacket this fall, he can’t help himself but walk backwards everywhere. “I don’t know what it is,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Church Packs Basement to Sing Hymns and Watch ‘Die Hard’

December 20, 2023 Andrew

NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, ON Folks at the North South Niagara MBBM Church sure were in a festive mood this week after they gathered in the basement to eat peanuts in paper bags, sing “Der Friedensfurst” and, most […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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