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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

Steinbacher Shocked at Lack of Honda Civics in New F1 Movie

June 25, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local Main Street racer Collin Dueck, 26, was really looking forward to the new F1 movie, but has come away more confused than ever. “I’ve been a professional racer for almost a decade […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Emerges All Cool and Trendy After Hip Replacement

June 24, 2025 Andrew

MORDEN-WINKLER, MB Area man Timothy Reimer, 69, has emerged from a hip replacement surgery as the hippest man in all of Reinland. “I no longer listen to gospel quartets. From now on it’s all Kendrick […]

Unger Suspicion

Innocent Civilian Super Grateful to Have House Bombed in Name of Freedom

June 23, 2025 Andrew

SOME CITY YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF, COUNTRY YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT An innocent civilian in some other country is super grateful to all the foreign powers who decided the best way to bring about his […]

Unger the Influence

American Shoppers Flock to Get their Hands on World War III Apparel

June 22, 2025 Andrew

OMAHA, NE Malls were packed this weekend for the kickoff of summer. And you know what that means – deals on all the hottest World War III apparel. “There’s camo everywhere,” said eager shopper Kathy […]

Unger Games

Vanapag Jats Jerseys Flying Off the Shelves

June 21, 2025 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB There have been a lot of changes at 300 Portage Avenue this week after the signing of Jonathan Toews. “I haven’t been this excited about the Vanapag Jats since Patrik Laine grew that […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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