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Articles by Andrew

Unger the Influence

Vice President Peters? Mennonites Shocked to Discover Joe Biden Using a Mennonite Pseudonym

August 21, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer is demanding to see the unredacted document that link then Vice President Joe Biden to various Mennonite pseudonyms, including Robert Peters, I.P. Fast, and Ona Bender. “We […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Sets Off Rocket After Calling the Kids in for “Launch”

August 20, 2023 Andrew

PINECRAFT, FL Mrs. Kroeker was vacationing with the family in Florida this week, when she inadvertently launched a rocket ship over in Cape Canaveral. “Oba, I was just calling in the kids for launch yet,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Sandra Bullock Donates Gently Used Oscar to Local Thrift Store

August 19, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After it turns out that the woman she portrayed in The Blind Side may not have been precisely the character the film made her out to be, actress Sandra Bullock has decided to […]

Unger Conviction

How to Choose Your New Colony Name: A Guide for Hutterites

August 18, 2023 Andrew

In most circumstances, Hutterites are a highly self-sufficient bunch, but in recent years it’s become clear that there was one essential resource they were running low on – satire. So, in an effort to build […]

Unger Suspicion

Avid Outdoorsman Spends All Day Indoors Wearing Bass Pro Shops Cap

August 17, 2023 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Area man Heinrich Wiens, 23, has a reputation around Seminole for being such an avid outdoorsman that he even wears a Bass Pro Shops cap. “And you can’t fake that,” said fellow hunting […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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