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Month: April 2026

Unger & Thirst

Mr. Hamm to Return to Ancestral Name of Mr. Schinkjefleisch

April 23, 2026 Andrew

SELKIRK, MB Local accountant Bobby Hamm of Selkirk says he’s sick and tired of hiding his true identity and will be known as Bobby Schinkjefleisch from now on. “It was time,” said Schinkjefleisch. “I’ve been […]

Unger Conviction

Mr. Harms Promises He Won’t Hurt Anybody

April 22, 2026 Andrew

MARTENSVILLE, SK The folks in Martensville were on high alert this week after it was announced that Mr. Harms from Waldheim would be speaking in church next Sunday. “Nah, oba. I don’t like the sound […]

Unger & Thirst

City of Steinbach Issues ‘Boil Schmaunt Fat’ Advisory

April 21, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The City of Steinbach is urging residents to boil their schmaunt fat this afternoon after a private contractor accidentally damaged the pipe that supplies locals with clean fresh white cream gravy. “If it […]

Unger & Thirst

Server Stops By to Ask if Everything’s Tasting Good So Far Just as Area Man Takes Final Bite

April 20, 2026 Andrew

ARBORG, MB Area man Dan Wiens was just about finished his meatloaf and mashed potatoes this evening when the server finally popped by to see how the first few bites tasted. “Umm, it was good,” […]

Unger the Influence

Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On

April 19, 2026 Andrew

NEW HAMBURG, ON Days after it was discovered the Ontario Premier was getting around in a $28 million private jet, Doug Ford announced he would be getting a Martin or Eby to cart him around […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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