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Month: January 2026

Unger the Influence

GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration

January 25, 2026 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Residents of the Greater Toronto Area are bracing themselves for what meteorologists are calling the “largest accumulation of snow since Rob Ford was around.” “Oh, geez, that’s a lot of snow,” said Mississauga […]

Unger the Influence

Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow

January 24, 2026 Andrew

MIAMI, FL After rolling out a test run at primary schools in Miami, Florida this week, the White House announced plans to provide every school in the country with a dairy cow and a Mennonite […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Gets Standing Ovation in Switzerland

January 22, 2026 Andrew

DAVOS, SWITZERLAND An unexpected speech from the first man to rebaptize someone as an adult, drew a standing ovation at the World Economic Forum in Switzerland this week. “Wow, that’s quite the reception,” said Conrad […]

Unger the Influence

Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature

January 21, 2026 Andrew

SAUK CENTRE, MN Humorist Andrew Unger drove down to Sauk Centre, Minnesota this afternoon where he was presented with the Nobel Prize for Literature originally given to the great Sinclair Lewis. “It’s such an honour,” […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Sign Mennonite Senior to Bring Some Youth to the Team

January 19, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets have signed Mr. Plett, 84, of Bethlehem Place to bring some much needed youth and agility to their aging lineup. “I lot of people can’t figure out what’s gone wrong […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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