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Month: January 2026

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Delighted to Receive Gently Used Nobel Peace Prize

January 18, 2026 Andrew

CORN, OK Area woman Susie Driedger, 73, was delighted to receive a gently used Nobel Peace Prize this week, which she plans to shred into pieces and use as a Brillo pad. “It has hardly […]

Unger Games

New Season of ‘Heated Rivalry’ to Feature Manitoba’s Top Crokinole Players

January 17, 2026 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Producers of the hit TV romance Heated Rivalry have already announced a change for season two–rather than a romance between two hockey players, the next season will feature two of Manitoba’s top knipsers. […]

Unger the Influence

American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road

January 17, 2026 Andrew

GREENLAND, MB The tiny hamlet of Greenland, Manitoba was on high alert this week after a troop of US soldiers came marching through town. “I guess they want our rare earth roll kuchen or something,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Word Bird Gives Fred Penner Plautdietsch Word

January 15, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Producers were scrambling on the set of Fred Penner’s Place this week after the beloved children’s entertainer was given the Low German word “gnurpel” by the Word Bird. “Waut de schissjat is going […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipegers Rush to Get their Hands on the Cheapest Nosebleed Seats

January 13, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Moments after tickets for the upcoming Heintje concert went on sale at the Canada Life Centre, all the worst seats were gone. “You’ve got to be quick on the draw if you want […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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