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Month: September 2024

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Spends 8 Hours Trying to Extract Stubborn Pickles at Top of Jar

September 9, 2024 Andrew

COALDALE, AB Area woman Diane Toews got up early this morning knowing she was going to need a bit of extra time to extract the pickles, but it was all for naught. “Faspa was over […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tries to Pass Off Farmer Sausage as Kubasa

September 8, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Jake Reimer’s attempt at serving his guests “kubasa” this weekend utterly failed after he figured he could toss a clove of garlic in with the farmer sausage and fool everyone. “He thought a […]

Unger Games

Eagles Introduce New Uniform for Brazil NFL Game

September 7, 2024 Andrew

SAO PAOLO, BRAZIL Banned from wearing green, the Philadelphia Eagles have unveiled new uniforms for their upcoming game in Sao Paolo this week. “The feather boas might be a bit of a hindrance,” said ESPN […]

Unger Games

Team That Wins Barely Half Their Games Clearly the Best in the League

September 6, 2024 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA The Phillies are in class by themselves this year after winning a little bit over half their games so far this year. “I’ve never see a team dominate like this before,” said baseball […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Hooked on Niakwa ‘Farmer’s Special’ Pizza

September 5, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB “Farmer sausage on pizza, yet!” proclaimed Joseph Kehler of Winnipeg the first time he discovered it 15 years ago. Since then, Kehler has been consuming the Niakwa Farmer’s Special every day, which has […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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