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Month: February 2024

The Daily Bonnet

Blockbuster Building to be Preserved at Local Museum to Show what Mennonite Life was Like in the 1990s

February 24, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB An old Blockbuster Video building was carefully hoisted onto the back of a semi trailer this week before winding up at a Mennonite open air museum in Steinbach. “When our grandchildren ask about […]

Unger the Influence

Tucker Carlson Completely Mesmerized by Low Prices at Local Thrift Store

February 22, 2024 Andrew

BLUMENBACH, AB Following his whirlwind tour of Russia, “journalist” Tucker Carlson is in northern Alberta this week visiting a small Mennonite village where he appeared to be totally enamoured with the low prices at the […]

Unger Suspicion

Seniors Start New Baby Boom to Overtake Millennials

February 21, 2024 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON A recent Stats Canada study has revealed that Boomers are no longer the dominant generation and are now outnumbered by Millennials. In order to address this concerning trend, Boomers have begun utilizing several […]

Unger & Thirst

McFarmer Sausage Returns to McDonalds After 10-year Hiatus

February 20, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB There were lineups at McDonalds locations across the country this week, as the beloved McFarmer Sausage burger has finally returned. “It’s a boneless pork sandwich just like my Onkel Corny used to make,” […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Hired for Wife’s Ability to Play the Piano

February 19, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK The local church has just hired a new pianist with the added bonus that her husband is willing to be the pastor on Sundays. “You know, when we were looking for a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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