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Month: October 2020

Unger Suspicion

Forecast Calls for Nothing but Fog this Autumn

October 5, 2020 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Environment Canada is predicting fog to strike about 30 to 40 % of the adult population this season, unless you wear contacts or have one of those fancy face masks with the pinched […]

Unger Conviction

Thousands of Geese Congregate at the Pond by the MHV for Steinbach’s Largest Church Service

October 4, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB With the pandemic restricting the size of human church services in the Steinbach area, it seems the local Canada goose population has decided to flaunt their ability to congregate uninhibited. “Not even the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Fits Entire Bag of Spitz in His Mouth at Once

October 3, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area man Steve Toews, 38, is being hailed as a local hero this week after he stuffed an entire bag of dill pickle Spitz in his mouth at once. “It was the church […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Schitt’s Creek’ Rebranded as ‘Schmidt’s Creek’ for Sensitive Southern Manitoba Market

October 2, 2020 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Emmy-winning and wildly popular Canadian sitcom Schitt’s Creek has been rebranded Schmidt’s Creek in the southern Manitoba market. “Oba, waut de schissjat is this yet!” said Mr. Klassen flipping through the channels. “A […]

Unger Suspicion

Google Searches for “How to Become Amish” Surge During Presidential Debate

October 1, 2020 Andrew

HOLMES COUNTY, OH Aghast at the dismal prospects for life in mainstream American society, millions of Americans are apparently considering joining the Amish. “During the debate we saw a huge surge in ‘how to move […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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