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Month: August 2020

Unger Conviction

Grandma Plett Discovers Bible iPhone App, Disrupts Service

August 26, 2020 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Grandma Plett, 81, of Linden Menno Manor, recently discovered a handy new Bible app on her iPhone. The app features large print and the ability to have Morgan Freeman read the Bible aloud […]

Unger Suspicion

“Fearless” Man Refuses to Wear a Mask But Absolutely Petrified to Enter a Grocery Store Without His Gun

August 25, 2020 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Mr. Janzen, 41, of Seminole, laughs every time he sees those “sheeple” wearing their silly masks all over the place. Janzen is a very brave man who trusts only in the Lord and […]

Unger Suspicion

Paris Woman Suddenly Realizes She Actually Likes Tourists

August 24, 2020 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE After six months of nearly empty streets in her home town, Juliette Martin, 31, of Paris, France has decided that if the tourists ever come back she’s going to be nice to them […]

Quizzes

Quiz: Where Should You Actually Live? (For Mennonites)

August 22, 2020 Andrew

Years ago there was an episode of The Simpsons where Homer and his pals visit Winnipeg to buy cheap prescription drugs. The sign at the edge of town said “Welcome to Winnipeg: We Were Born […]

Unger & Thirst

Preservative Party of Canada to Select New Leader

August 21, 2020 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After the resignation of a jar of Oma Friesen’s Dills a few months ago, the Preservative Party of Canada is currently voting-by-mail on a new leader. In the running are a bowl of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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