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Month: July 2020

Unger Suspicion

Edmonton Man Really Upset His Favourite Team Would Change their Name … or Logo, Colours, Jersey, Mascot, Location, Stadium, Turf, Ownership, Ticket Prices, Players, Coaching Staff, Management, Special Teams Strategy …

July 21, 2020 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB In what one Edmonton man describes as a “completely unprecedented move for a professional sports team”, the Edmonton football club has decided to change its nickname. “In all my years I’ve never seen […]

Unger Suspicion

Quebec Requires All Residents to Wear Head Coverings

July 20, 2020 Andrew

QUEBEC CITY, QC After an outbreak of “uncontrolled sassiness,” the government of Quebec is trying to reign things in and is requiring all residents to humble themselves and wear traditional religious head coverings of some […]

The Daily Bonnet

Terrible Road Between Jantsied and Ditsied Allows Travellers to Experience the Life of a Pioneer

July 19, 2020 Andrew

MORRIS, MB Travellers along Highway 75 in southern Manitoba are being offered a marvelous new way to experience the life of a Mennonite pioneer. By simply driving from Steinbach to Altona via Morris, travellers are […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Karen Demands to Speak to Thrift Store Manager

July 18, 2020 Andrew

NEUBERGNORT, MB A local Karen is very upset over the “outrageous” prices at her Neubergnort Self Help and is demanding to speak to the manager right this minute or else she’s filing a complaint with […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dating Mennonite Couple Go Over to Grandma’s to Make Sure They’re Not Too Closely Related

July 17, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENORT, SK Emily Wiebe, 20, and Patrick Penner, 19, have been dating since they first met in period 5 History a couple years ago. Now things are getting serious and they decided they better pay […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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