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Month: January 2020

The Daily Bonnet

“It’s Not Dancing!” : Mennonites Gather for Weekly ‘Circle Games’

January 31, 2020 Andrew

REINFELD, MB Dozens of Mennonites are gathering this weekend to hold hands with distant cousins and move around in circles to music. This phenomenon is known as “circle games” and contrary to popular opinion, should […]

The Daily Bonnet

Undocumented Workers from Morden Flood Into Winkler

January 30, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER,MB With the construction season fast approaching, hundreds of undocumented schjekbenjels from Morden have been flooding into the neighbouring community of Winkler looking for work. “Jauma, that church lobby was full this morning,” said Mrs. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Totally Immune to the Corona Virus

January 29, 2020 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO While panic is setting in around the world, one Mennonite man in Mexico is not in the least bit concerned about the Corona virus. “I’m immune,” says Mr. Ens. “I haven’t touched the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Passport Now Required to Visit Jantsied

January 28, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Authorities at the border crossing in Rosenort have just announced that starting next month Mennonites will be required to show a valid passport when entering Jantsied. The announcement was met with fierce opposition […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Confesses that Ruehrei is the Only Thing He Can Cook

January 27, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB Mr. Unger, 51, of Blumenhof has been making a delicious serving of ruehrei once a week for the past thirty-two years and his wife Wilma has had enough of it already. “Diewel, that man! […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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