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Month: September 2019

The Daily Bonnet

“Adult Graphic Novels” Cause Stir at Local Library

September 9, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENKRAHN, SK Mennonites across northern Saskatchewan were in a tizzy this week after it was discovered the local library carried something called “adult graphic novels.” “Oba, nay! They’re adult! Plus they’re graphic! That can’t be […]

Unger & Thirst

Ten Authentic Mennonite Dishes to Make for Mennonite Heritage Week

September 8, 2019 Andrew

It’s finally here! Mennonite Heritage Week! A time to sit back and reflect on everything that it means to be Mennonite. While you’re arguing in the church lobby about the nuances of being a pacifist […]

Unger & Thirst

Delusional Mennonite Man Thinks His Mom’s Vereniki are Better than Your Mom’s Vereniki

September 6, 2019 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Art Berg, 31, of Leamington, Ontario has a message for the world: “My mom’s vereniki are the best in the world yet!” The message, which he’s plastered on several billboards in the Leamington […]

Unger & Thirst

Mourners Devastated After Mennonite Funeral Runs Short on Raisin Buns

September 5, 2019 Andrew

SOUTH BLUMENORT, MB Thousands of Mennonites were expecting to gorge on raisin buns at the Wiebe funeral this past week, but were left “completely devastated” after the organizers ran out of their supply after just […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Superhero ‘Barkman’ Saves the Day!

September 4, 2019 Andrew

GOERTZEN CITY In the dark bowels of Goertzen City lurks an evil presence named The Spotter. Thankfully for the residents of Goertzen City there is one man who can stop The Spotter and his name […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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