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Month: April 2019

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Players Required to Sleep with Plastic Sheets on their Beds

April 12, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After yet another horrid performance tonight, the mothers of all the Winnipeg Jets players have required their sons to sleep with plastic sheets on their beds from now on. “I know they’re grown […]

Quizzes

Quiz Time! Is it a darp or is it not a darp?

April 12, 2019 Andrew

Think you know your Russian Mennonite darps? Well, let’s see. In this quiz I’ll give you the name of a community and you have to identify whether it’s real or just something I made up. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Children Super Excited for the Return of Christmas

April 12, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After an unexpected blizzard this week, children across southern Manitoba woke up to a blanket of snow and began frantically filling out their Christmas wish lists. “Christmas! It’s Christmas,” exclaimed little Sally Doerksen, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Begrudgingly Signs Up for Sportsnet So He Can Watch the Jets Game

April 10, 2019 Andrew

ARBORG, MB Peter Giesbrecht, 67, is really looking forward to the Jets playoff push this year. One thing, however, that he’s not too keen on is subscribing to Rogers Sportsnet just so he can watch […]

Unger Conviction

Introducing the All New Mennonite Enneagram!

April 9, 2019 Andrew

According to the ancient and mystical Mennonite Enneagram, written by Richard Reimer and Andreas Hiebert, there are nine distinct Mennonite personality types. Which one are you? TYPE ONE: The Need to Make the Perfect Quilt – […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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