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Month: February 2019

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Hunter Shoots and Eats Groundhog, No Spring This Year

February 2, 2019 Andrew

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA A Mennonite hunter from rural Pennsylvania shot and ate an innocent little weather-forecasting groundhog yesterday, thus condemning the entire continent to perpetual winter. Mr. Yoder said the groundhog was delicious, but says he […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Spends Ten Hours Trying to Figure Out Who Unfriended Her

February 1, 2019 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Mrs. Rempel keeps pretty close track of her Facebook numbers, so when she saw her friends list drop from 189 to 188 earlier this week, she knew something was amiss. “Jauma lied! This […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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