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Month: July 2018

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Dog Breeder Creates New Breed, the ‘Low German Shepherd’

July 26, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Expert dog breeder, Mr. Peter Fehr, 59, of Winkler, has worked for more than three decades to create a new dog breed: the Low German Shepherd. Thanks to a lot of blood, sweat […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Launches String of F-Bombs in Last Sermon Before Retirement

July 25, 2018 Andrew

REIMERSFELD, SK Local Mennonite pastor, Reverend Schmidt, whose recent lotto-649 win has afforded him an early retirement, unleashed a string of f-bombs in his final sermon as head of East Reimersfeld Mennonite. “He sure let […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fraser Valley Mennonites Put the ‘Before Christ’ in BC

July 24, 2018 Andrew

YARROW, BC A new study out of the University of the Fraser Valley indicates that early Mennonite settlers may have been under the mistaken impression that ‘BC’ stood for ‘Before Christ’ when they decided to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman’s Thumbs Got a Great Workout at the Gym Today

July 23, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local woman Erin Friesen, 34, gave her thumbs quite the workout at the gym today. Friesen estimates she sent more than a hundred texts today and burned between 3 and 4 calories. “Dang […]

Unger & Thirst

Unsure if New Church Friend’s a Teetotaler, Mennonite Woman Invites Her for ‘Coffee’

July 22, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Miss Liz Bergen, 29, had initially thought of asking her new friend Ashley from church to meet her at Sawney Bean’s pub for a pint of Guinness, but decided to play it safe […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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