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Month: July 2016

The Daily Bonnet

City of Winkler to Stage Massive Publicity Stunt to Compete With Steinbach

July 23, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Tired of all the national media attention that Steinbach has been receiving lately, the City of Winkler is seeking to garner some publicity of their own and is consulting the public for ideas. “We […]

The Daily Bonnet

Thousands of Winnipegers Visit Steinbach and Decide ‘It Doesn’t Suck’

July 22, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After visiting Steinbach for the first time during this year’s Summer in the City and Steinbach Pride events, tens of thousands of Winnipegers have decided it’s “a pretty nice place” and are planning to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Area Cyclists Shocked By the Presence of Pedestrians on the Sidewalk

July 21, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB There is a growing community of cyclists across the city of Steinbach who have abandoned designated bicycle lanes in favour of riding their mountain bikes on the sidewalks. However, some area cyclists are now concerned […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Society of Letters Announces New ‘Fuela Reimer Literary Award’

July 20, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In a press conference on Tuesday, a spokesperson from The Mennonite Society of Letters announced an inaugural literary award named in honour of Abraham ‘Fuela’ Reimer, a 19th century Russian Mennonite of some […]

Unger Suspicion

Quentin Tarantino to Direct Bloodiest Mennonite Film Ever

July 19, 2016 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Controversial film-maker Quentin Tarantino is in southern Manitoba this week scouting locations for his newest blockbuster Dueck Unchained. “I’ve always been fascinated by Mennonites,” said Tarantino. “One of the extras on Kill Bill […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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