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trade war

Unger Suspicion

Trump To Relocate Mines From Strait of Hormuz To Lake Ontario

August 26, 2026 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Amidst a heated trade war with Canada, President Donald Trump announced a new deal to reinstall all the mines he removed from the Strait of Hormuz and reinstall them in Lake Ontario. “Many […]

Unger the Influence

Trump to Reopen Alcatraz to Imprison Canadians

June 5, 2025 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA With the trade war heating up, Donald Trump recently announced he would be reopening Alcatraz with the sole purpose of imprisoning Canadians who’ve hurt his feelings on social media. “Cross the border […]

Unger the Influence

Doug Ford Accidentally Shuts Off Power to His Own Province

March 30, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Weeks after threatening to shut off the power to several US states, it appears that Ontario Premier Doug Ford has accidentally shut off the power to his own province. “Yeah, ooops, I don’t […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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