The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

sugar

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Dealing Dime Bags of White Sugar

December 10, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Altona’s most notorious sugar dealer, 83-year-old Edith Braun, has been caught dealing “dime bags” of white sugar in the hallways of Southview Manor. “The street price of white sugar has soared this holiday […]

Unger & Thirst

Area Woman Pours Bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Just to Drink the Milk Afterwards

August 13, 2022 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Area woman Erin Heinrichs, 41, poured herself a nice bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch this morning and quickly wolfed down the cereal so she could get to that delicious milk left afterwards. “Ahh, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Mostly Just in it for the Icing and Sprinkles

April 3, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB For Jack Klassen of Winkler, the faintly lemon-tasting bun of paska is secondary compared to the icing and sprinkles. “Basically, the bun is a receptacle for transporting icing and sprinkles to my mouth,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Single Piece of Juicy Fruit Lasts a Record Three Minutes

February 3, 2021 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Mrs. Froese of Chilliwack has set a new world record by managing to squeeze a full three minutes of flavour from one piece of Juicy Fruit gum. “It’s got that sweet fruity blast […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Leftover Rice Pudding: A Daily Bonnet Recipe

January 2, 2021 Andrew

Today we’re bringing you part two in our very sporadic Daily Bonnet recipe series. Previously we brought you a classic: raw farmer sausage and vinegar. If you managed to master that complex recipe, here’s another […]

Posts pagination

1 2 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Introducing Every Mennonite’s New Favourite Winter Pastime: Strip Knipsbrat
    November 9, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Left in Awkward Position After Neighbouring Passenger Falls Asleep on His Shoulder
    July 15, 2022
  • Find Out Which Cousin You Will Marry
    April 23, 2018
  • Radical Mennonite Woman Pairs Sausage with Potatoes
    August 20, 2024
  • Local Man Totally Hooked on ‘Mennonite Marijuana’
    August 14, 2020

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved