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steinbach

The Daily Bonnet

Mannanites Axcited for New Fast & Furious Movie: Main Street Steinbach Edition!

August 8, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Young Mannanite dads love to shirk their responsibilities at home and drive their Honda Civics and Mazda 3s down Main Street Steinbach all the time yet once. Their ability to maneuver used Japanese […]

The Daily Bonnet

Niverville Vows to Overtake Steinbach for Most Number of Traffic Lights

March 21, 2020 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB With its first traffic light forthcoming this summer, the town of Niverville is eager to surpass rival community Steinbach for the title of most traffic lights in the Southeast. “Sure, we’ve only got […]

The Daily Bonnet

Passport Now Required to Visit Jantsied

January 28, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Authorities at the border crossing in Rosenort have just announced that starting next month Mennonites will be required to show a valid passport when entering Jantsied. The announcement was met with fierce opposition […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Becomes First to Reach the Summit of Abe’s Hill

December 10, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Richard Loeppky, with the assistance of his schekjbenjel Pieta, planted a flag at the top of southern Manitoba’s highest peak, Abe’s Hill, this week. It was the first time the peak […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Residents Petition City to Build Massive 640 Acre Parking Lot Downtown

October 7, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A consortium of concerned citizens has petitioned city council to abandon their plans for a state-of-the-art events centre downtown and instead build a massive 640 acre parking lot. “I’m hoping this gets approval, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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