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spring break

The Daily Bonnet

Tourists Flock to Steinbach’s Newest Attraction: The Famous Main and Brandt Potholes

March 30, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Millions of tourists have gathered in Steinbach, Manitoba this week to stand in awe at the massive Main and Brandt potholes that have sprung up this spring. “They’re truly a wonder to behold,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Rebrands Spring Break as ‘Winter Break Part 2’

March 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In an effort to more accurately reflect the realities of the situation, the Manitoba government has decided to rebrand Spring Break 2022 as ‘Winter Break Part 2.’ Area students were super excited about […]

Unger Suspicion

Rumspringa 2021 Not Nearly as Wild as Amish Boy was Hoping For

March 3, 2021 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Young Caleb Hershberger of Intercourse was really looking forward to getting out into the wild world of the English during his rumspringa this year, but so far he’s been totally disappointed. “Dunner uns […]

Unger Suspicion

Idiot Spring Breakers Force Sharks to Take Matters Into Their Own Hands

March 20, 2020 Andrew

MIAMI, FL After tens of thousands of irresponsible “dude bros” disregarded health officials and decided that the pandemic wasn’t going to stop them from partying and spreading the disease to their elderly relatives, local sharks […]

The Daily Bonnet

Grand Forks, North Dakota ‘Completely Overrun’ With Mennonites

March 29, 2017 Andrew

GRAND FORKS, ND Due to Spring Break in Manitoba, the indoor waterslides at every single hotel in nearby Grand Forks were totally swamped with Mennonites this week. “They’re welcome to explore our city,” said Grand […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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