The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

soccer

Unger the Influence

FIFA Peace Prize Discovered at Local Thrift Store

December 7, 2025 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA The new FIFA “Peace Prize” was apparently so meaningful to its recipient that it’s already been discarded and discovered amongst all the useless chotskies at the local thrift store. “I couldn’t believe my […]

Unger Games

New Zealand Prime Minister Really Upset Over Canadian Olympic Drone Scandal

July 26, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE The use of a spy drone by the Canadian Olympic soccer team has got the Prime Minister of New Zealand mighty upset. “This is outrageous,” said Prime Minister Pippin during second breakfast. “You’ve […]

Unger Games

Christiano Ronaldo Signs $200 Million Deal with Hanover Kickers

December 31, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The Hanover Kickers of the Manitoba Major Soccer League scored big this off-season with the signing of Portuguese superstar Christiano Ronaldo. The deal is rumoured to be worth upwards of $200 million a […]

Unger & Thirst

Argentina Runs Out of Yerba Mate Moments After World Cup Victory

December 18, 2022 Andrew

LA PAMPA COLONY, ARGENTINA After consuming more than 100 million kilos of yerba mate in just 90 minutes, the supply of green leafy tea in the World Cup champion nation of Argentina, is now completely […]

The Daily Bonnet

Canadian Mennonites Upset as their Team, the Germans, are Eliminated from the World Cup

December 4, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Thousands of Mennonite soccer fans across Canada were really upset this week after the team they were really rooting for, the Germans, were eliminated from the World Cup yet again. “Ugh, typical Germany, […]

Posts pagination

1 2 3 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Woman’s Ice Cream Pails Full of Cash Completely Unaffected By Banking Crisis
    March 21, 2023
  • Jake Dycks Fill Winkler Arena for Annual Jake Dyck Festival
    February 2, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Insists on Wearing Suspenders to Nude Beach
    July 27, 2016
  • An Anglican Church is Now the Largest Mennonite Church in Winnipeg
    October 12, 2023
  • McCartney Cancels Show in Mennonite Town Over Lack of Vegetarian Options
    July 21, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved