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politics

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Residents Petition City to Build Massive 640 Acre Parking Lot Downtown

October 7, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A consortium of concerned citizens has petitioned city council to abandon their plans for a state-of-the-art events centre downtown and instead build a massive 640 acre parking lot. “I’m hoping this gets approval, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Party Leaders Score Big Points During Plautdietsch Language Debate

October 2, 2019 Andrew

PLUM COULEE, MB With the notable exception of Bloc Quebecois leader Yves-Francois Blanchet, who said he really didn’t care to get the Mennonite vote, all major party leaders were present at the Plautdietsch language debate […]

Unger Suspicion

Andrew Scheer Hoping to Become Canada’s First Schekjbenjel Prime Minister

September 30, 2019 Andrew

REGINA, SK The 2019 Canadian federal election is a profoundly historic one. Just this weekend, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer revealed that, if elected in October, he would become Canada’s very first schekjbenjel Prime Minister. “I […]

Unger Suspicion

“Greta’s Been Coached,” Says Politician Who Doesn’t Even Write His Own Speeches

September 28, 2019 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC Local politician and die-hard anti-Greta activist Willie Ford took to Twitter this week to discount everything Thunberg has ever said on the basis that she may have rehearsed once or twice before making […]

Unger Suspicion

16-Year-Old Swede Tops Canadian Election Poll

September 24, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Even though her age and citizenship currently make her ineligible to run for office, it seems that the vast majority of Canadians prefer Greta Thunberg to any of the other candidates for Prime […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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