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politics

Unger Games

“Isn’t there a hockey game on or something?”

November 3, 2020 Andrew

BRANDON, MB Local man Darryl Wiebe, 47, has been flipping channels all evening in search of something, anything, even the least bit entertaining to watch. “Ugh. It’s the same crap on every channel,” said Wiebe. […]

Unger Suspicion

Golden Boy Tests Positive for Covid

November 2, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB According to a press conference held this afternoon, the Golden Boy that sits atop the Manitoba Legislative Building has just tested positive for Covid and will now be required to go into isolation […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Sheeple’ Farm Opens in Southern Manitoba

October 23, 2020 Andrew

SHEEPLETON, MB Agriculture continues to evolve in southern Manitoba. This year, in fact, the branding of people we don’t agree with as ‘sheeple’ has now surpassed cattle and hog farming as the most popular agricultural […]

Unger Conviction

Church Approves Muting Pastor’s Mic at Upcoming Service

October 22, 2020 Andrew

NASHVILLE, TN Attendees at the upcoming South Nashville Mennonite Church service this Sunday will be given the ability to mute the pastor whenever they think he’s off base or speaking out of turn. “After last […]

Unger Suspicion

Google Searches for “How to Become Amish” Surge During Presidential Debate

October 1, 2020 Andrew

HOLMES COUNTY, OH Aghast at the dismal prospects for life in mainstream American society, millions of Americans are apparently considering joining the Amish. “During the debate we saw a huge surge in ‘how to move […]

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