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pacifism

Unger Suspicion

‘Pacifism is Totally Impractical’ Says Large Multinational Weapons Manufacturer

December 1, 2016 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Arms industry leaders met in Washington this week to discuss ways of curbing the growing wave of pacifism that’s sweeping the nation. “How the hell can we expect to keep the economy going […]

Unger Suspicion

Pacifist-Thriller ‘Hacksaw Ridge’ Lures Reluctant Mennonites into Movie Theatre

November 18, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For decades rural Manitoba movie theatres had trouble convincing more conservative elements of the population that attending movies was not actually explicitly forbidden in the Scriptures. Ever since the invention of moving pictures in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather Today to Solemnly Forget

November 11, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB During his annual Forgetfulness Day service, Reverend B. B. Broesky Jr. told congregants that there were many awful thing that happened in the past and it was best just to move on and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather Today to Solemnly Forget

November 11, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB During his annual Forgetfulness Day service, Reverend B. B. Broesky Jr. told congregants that there were many awful thing that happened in the past and it was best just to move on and […]

Unger Suspicion

We Have Now Officially Entered a Peculiar Alternate Universe Where Mel Gibson Makes Movies About Conscientious Objectors

November 4, 2016 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA With the utterly baffling release of Mel Gibson’s new pacifist-thriller Hacksaw Ridge, physicists around the world are suggesting we now have enough evidence to confirm that the controversial multiverse theory might actually have some validity. “Mel Gibson, […]

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