The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

ontario

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Have No Place to Store their Crokinole Pieces After Crown Royal Plant Shuts Down

December 1, 2025 Andrew

ST. CATHERINES, ON Thousands of Mennonites across Ontario have joined Premier Doug Ford in dumping all the Crown Royal they weren’t intending on drinking anyway. “I use it for cooking or medicinal purposes only,” said […]

Unger Games

Mennonites Refuse to Watch ‘Worldly Series’

November 1, 2025 Andrew

ST. JACOBS, ON Thousands of Mennonites in southern Ontario have refused to join in on the festivities this evening after local pastors preached vehemently against the ‘Worldly Series’s this past Sunday. “I don’t know what […]

Unger Suspicion

New Trade Deal Has Torontonians Scrambling to Find Manitoba on a Map

May 15, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON A few deal to lift interprovincial trade barriers between Ontario and Manitoba had millions of Torontonians scrambling for their glove compartments to see if they’ve got that old road atlas in there somewhere. […]

Unger the Influence

Doug Ford Accidentally Shuts Off Power to the Amish

April 16, 2025 Andrew

ST. JACOB’S, ON Facing uncertain economic times and threats from the US, Ontario Premier Doug Ford, in a show of strength and solidarity, shut off power to a whole bunch of people who weren’t actually […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Swifties to Exchange ‘Frintschoft’ Bracelets this Weekend

November 16, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Dozens of Mennonite Swifties have defied church orders and travelled from as far away as Aylmer and Leamington to attend a Taylor Swift concert in Toronto this weekend. “I’m going to hear about […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 4 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Archaeologists Excavate Thick Layer of Sunflower Seeds on Car Floor
    August 29, 2016
  • Mennonite Hunter Bags Huge Sausage
    November 21, 2017
  • Winnipeg Jets Sign Top Free Agent Enforcer Will Smith
    April 3, 2022
  • Church Approves Muting Pastor’s Mic at Upcoming Service
    October 22, 2020
  • Mixup Has Trudeau “Re-signing” Instead of Resigning
    October 23, 2024

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved