The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

nafta

Unger the Influence

Trump to Reopen Alcatraz to Imprison Canadians

June 5, 2025 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA With the trade war heating up, Donald Trump recently announced he would be reopening Alcatraz with the sole purpose of imprisoning Canadians who’ve hurt his feelings on social media. “Cross the border […]

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Plastic Straw Ban Leaves Pacifist Mennonites Completely Defenceless
    June 21, 2018
  • New Fitness Program Encourages Mennonites to Literally LMAO
    October 9, 2021
  • Steinbach MCC Store Takes a Hardline Stance Against Doll Nudity
    January 19, 2017
  • Winnipeg Man Subsists on Nothing but Rae and Jerry’s Tomato Juice for the Past 60 Years
    May 6, 2024
  • Mennonite Society of Letters Announces New ‘Fuela Reimer Literary Award’
    July 20, 2016

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved