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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Overturns Hoe v. Spade

May 4, 2022 Andrew

LEETONIA, OH A leaked church bulletin suggests the South Leetonia Old Order Mennonite Church is set to reverse the controversial 1973 Hoe vs. Spade ruling that required all Mennonites to do their gardening using the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Super Disappointed He Can’t Use His Fake Vaccine Passport Anymore

March 13, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Mr. Thiessen is super upset at the Manitoba government for removing his ability to use his fake vaccine passport. “After all this money I invested in getting this fake thing made, […]

Unger Conviction

Church Group Hires Private Investigator to Follow Around the Klassens

July 30, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB New documents suggest that a local church group hired a Private Investigator last month to dig up dirt on every Klassen in the Province of Manitoba. “It’s always good to keep tabs on […]

Unger Suspicion

“I Can’t Believe the Mormons Have that Extra Holy Book,” Says Christian Man Who Literally Worships the US Constitution

May 12, 2021 Andrew

GRAND FORKS, ND Local man and constitution-worshipper Henry Unger says he just “can’t believe the Mormons have all these extra holy books that they added centuries later.” For Unger, it’s just the Old Testament, New […]

Unger Conviction

“Freedom-Loving” Pastor Won’t Let Women Wear Pants

April 30, 2021 Andrew

DOMMHEIT, ON Canada’s most freedom-loving pastor, Apostle Hank, is all about liberty and personal freedoms without any coercion or undue influence from authority figures. “Our freedoms are being eroded daily!” exclaimed Apostle Hank to a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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