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The Daily Bonnet

Jant Sied Story Takes Home Top Prize at Mennonite Oscars

April 8, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The annual Mennonite Oscars and Faspa were held in the MB church basement in Winkler this afternoon, with the top prize going to the epic Anabaptist musical Jant Sied Story. “It’s a tale […]

Unger Suspicion

Lindsey “Loewen” Reveals We’ve Been Spelling and Saying Her Name Wrong the Whole Time

February 23, 2022 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Mean Girls star Lindsey Loewen revealed today in her TikTok debut that she’s actually Kleine Gemeinde from Taber (via Cuauhtémoc) and we’ve all been spelling and saying her name wrong the whole time. “It’s Loe-wen […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2021

November 20, 2021 Andrew

It was a great year for Menno movies! Mask requirements meant that millions of Mennonites could attend their local movie houses without any possible way of being identified by the church elders sitting across the […]

Unger Suspicion

Timothéeee Chalamet Adds a Couple Extra E’s

November 16, 2021 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Dune star Timothéeee Chalamet has just broken the record for more successive E’s in a name after having his name legally changed from Timothée to Timothéeee earlier this week. “I looked at my name up there […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbachers Elect Peter Falk as New MP

May 26, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Continuing their longstanding tradition of electing Falks and Barkmans, residents of Steinbach have resoundingly decided to send Peter Falk to Ottawa. “We were happy with Ted, but when we heard we could get […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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