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groundhog day

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Groundhog Predicts Early Paska Buns this Year

February 2, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Winkler Willie, the Mennonite world’s most famous groundhog, has just announced there will be an early spring this year, meaning southern Manitobans will be able to enjoy paska buns sooner rather than later. […]

Unger Suspicion

Groundhog Predicts All Satire Sites to Make ‘Jungian Shadow’ Jokes Today

February 2, 2023 Andrew

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA It’s February 2 and you know what that means: obscure references to Jungian psychology on every single satire site. “It’s a long standing tradition to make Jung jokes on February 2,” said area […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Hunter Shoots and Eats Groundhog, No Spring This Year

February 2, 2019 Andrew

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA A Mennonite hunter from rural Pennsylvania shot and ate an innocent little weather-forecasting groundhog yesterday, thus condemning the entire continent to perpetual winter. Mr. Yoder said the groundhog was delicious, but says he […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Lives the Exact Same Day Over and Over and Over

February 2, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Local man Henry Krahn has woken up each morning for the past thirty-five years, ate a piece of cold left-over formavorscht from the night before, stretched and said ‘oba jo‘ to no […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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