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gender roles

The Daily Bonnet

Single Uncle Elmer Refuses to Date Women Who Wear Pants

February 11, 2017 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Uncle Elmer Jansen, 71, has been single his whole life for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is his absolute refusal to date women who wear pants or “Satan’s slacks” […]

Unger & Thirst

Man Uses Female Pen Name to Submit Recipes to Mennonite Cookbook

February 4, 2017 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Local man Mr. Benjamin Harms has been writing recipes under the pseudonym Martha Pankratz for the past thirty years. With this female pen name he has published recipes including schnetke, buttazupand a delightful jellied veal […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mrs. Henry L. Funk Celebrates Fifty Years of Using Her Husband’s Name

January 20, 2017 Andrew

KRONSGARTEN, MB Local woman Mrs. Henry L. Funk is celebrating fifty years of never using her own first name. Funk follows the Mennonite tradition of signing all her letters, postcards, and even legal documents by simply […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Wins Award for ‘Most Submissive Wife’

January 14, 2017 Andrew

BROTSCHULD, SK Local man Jakob T. Nikkel was awarded a trophy from the EMBBMC church for “having a submissive wife for a record fifty-five years.” “In all those years, she never once questioned my authority […]

Unger & Thirst

‘Mennonite Boys Can Cook’ Cookbook Fails to Impress

January 3, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC After seeing ‘Mennonite Girls’ dominate the cooking headlines in recent years, Fraser Valley men Abe Fast and Arnold Doerksen decided they could make their own cookbook, too. “Oba, if those girls can cook, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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