The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

eating

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Fits Entire Bag of Spitz in His Mouth at Once

October 3, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area man Steve Toews, 38, is being hailed as a local hero this week after he stuffed an entire bag of dill pickle Spitz in his mouth at once. “It was the church […]

Unger & Thirst

Thousands of Mennonites to Participate in ‘Meatless Challenge’ February 30th and 31st

February 27, 2020 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Thousands of Mennonites across the continent have vowed to go without meat for two whole days on February 30th and 31st of this year. “It’s going to be difficult to go so […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Eats Over the Sink to Avoid Doing Dishes

February 24, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Neighbour lady Mrs. Fehr has reported Mrs. Loewen next door for “repeatedly eating over the sink.” Mrs. Fehr claims she witnessed such behaviour more than a dozen times over the past year while […]

Unger & Thirst

How to Measure Your BMI (Body Mennonite Index)

July 29, 2018 Andrew

The body mass index is used to measure a person’s relative health based on their weight and height. Unfortunately, the traditional BMI does not work for Mennonites. Instead, Mennonite doctors recommend that you use the […]

Unger & Thirst

How to Get That Perfect Mennonite ‘Dad Bod’ You Always Wanted

June 17, 2018 Andrew

Shocking as the results may be, surveys suggest the majority of women prefer a ‘Dad bod’ to a more well-sculpted physique. Therefore, in an effort to kindle some romance this summer, The Daily Bonnet has […]

Posts pagination

1 2 3 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Joe Biden Continues Longstanding American Tradition of Bombing the Hell Out of Foreign Countries
    February 26, 2021
  • Mennonites React to Doug Ford’s ‘Buck a Beer’ Plan
    May 30, 2018
  • How Many of these Mennonite Books Have You Read?
    December 30, 2020
  • Rumours Fly as Young Woman Gets a Haircut
    October 28, 2016
  • Mennonite Couple Still Late for Church Despite Extra Hour of Sleep
    November 3, 2019

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved