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easter

Unger Suspicion

Christians to Stop Killing Other Christians for at Least a Couple Minutes on Easter Sunday

April 20, 2025 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA “Christian” man Vladimir Putin has graciously decided to stop killing fellow Christians for a full fifteen minutes this Easter Sunday. “This is a time when we pause to reflect on our Lord and […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Groundhog Predicts Early Paska Buns this Year

February 2, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Winkler Willie, the Mennonite world’s most famous groundhog, has just announced there will be an early spring this year, meaning southern Manitobans will be able to enjoy paska buns sooner rather than later. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Children Excited for Annual Paska Bun Hunt

April 9, 2023 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON The Koops gathered in Leamington this Sunday for the annual Koop Paska bun hunt. This year the delicious white icing was delicately applied by Oma Koop right before the uncles hid the buns […]

Unger Conviction

C & E Christian Skips E this Year

April 19, 2022 Andrew

AKRON, PA Proud C & E Christians Eleanor and Earl Lapp of Akron decided to skip E this year, thus reducing their status to C Christians. “When we first got married we were C, E, […]

Unger & Thirst

Hundreds of Horrified Mennonites Served ‘Pasta’ for Easter Sunday after Kitchen Mixup

April 17, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Hundreds of Groenings, Kliewers, and Olferts were looking forward to a delicious serving of lemony buns with sweet icing this Sunday afternoon. However, a mishap in the kitchen resulted in the serving […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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