The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

communion

Unger Conviction

Dozens of Mennonites Take Ill On Stale Communion Crackers

July 21, 2025 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Nearly thirty congregants at the local Mennonite church had to go home early this Sunday after partaking in communion with some pretty sketchy looking crackers. “We’ve been using the same box of crackers […]

Unger Conviction

Pair of Used Communion Cups Sit Uncollected for Three Months

June 10, 2023 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB The ushers at East Grunthal Mennonite Church are in the hot seat this week after a pair of communion cups were discovered in the pews a full three months after the last communion. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Confuses Wendy’s Ketchup Cup for Communion

March 27, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Steve Wiens, 40, was very excited to pump his own ketchup at the local Wendy’s restaurant this week, especially given that it was Communion Sunday. “Oh look, communion cups!” proclaimed Wiens, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mysterious Steinbach Mineral Claims Finally Revealed

February 28, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For more than a year, a secretive Alberta company has been buying up the mineral rights for a massive area surrounding the city of Steinbach. The precise nature of the mineral rights purchase has been kept under […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Man Gets Totally Hammered on Welch’s Grape Juice

July 8, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB In an effort to discourage drunkenness, many Mennonite churches in the Hanover area have replaced wine with non-alcoholic grape juice during monthly communion services. Yet, somehow, every communion Sunday, local dentist, Elbert W. Berg, 41, is […]

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Winkler Spy Balloon Shot Down Above Morden
    February 4, 2023
  • Let’s Face it, You’re Probably Getting Socks Again This Year
    December 21, 2016
  • Mennonite Woman Consults ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ for Wardrobe Advice
    February 15, 2017
  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • Long Lost Hymn 606 Discovered on Page 118
    June 10, 2019

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved