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Unger Suspicion

Local Mom Sentenced to Three Years Watching ‘Peppa Pig’

February 26, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB As punishment for who the heck knows what, a Manitoba judge has sentenced local mom Samantha Hiebert to three years watching the world’s most annoying show Peppa Pig with her daughter Amy. “I’m […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Divorces After Discovering Common Ancestor

January 25, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After years of searching genealogy websites and poring through family history books, local man Peter Nikkel of Altona, has learned that he and his wife Anne are distantly related. Upon discovering the news, […]

Unger Suspicion

Under New Trudeau Law, All Christian Summer Camps to Be Turned into “Reeducation Camps”

January 19, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In order to address the “unacceptable diversity of opinions on social issues” in Canada, the Trudeau government has recently passed a law requiring all Bible camps to be shut down and re-opened as […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor’s Son By Far the Worst Behaved Kid in Sunday School

January 18, 2018 Andrew

FREDRICTON, NB Reverend Unrau was called out of the adult Prayer Class yet again this Sunday after his son Timothy socked two other boys in the nose and called little Lisa Wilson a “Poopyface.” It […]

The Daily Bonnet

Lit Match Insufficient After Dad’s Been in There

January 17, 2018 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB The Sawatzky family of Edmonton has discovered the hard way that a single lit match is wholly insufficient to mask the mysterious odour that often emanates from the bathroom after Dad’s been in […]

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