SAN FRANCISCO, CA With the trade war heating up, Donald Trump recently announced he would be reopening Alcatraz with the sole purpose of imprisoning Canadians who’ve hurt his feelings on social media. “Cross the border […]
OTTAWA, ON Just moments after ascending to the throne, new Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney announced an important new set of warning labels to be displayed on all food products in the country. “We want […]
KITCHENER, ON Area man Garth Eby, 39, has just begun a yearlong project to dissemble every stitch of furniture in his house and replace all the screws with Robertsons. “I’m starting with the kitchen cabinets, […]
OTTAWA, ON The once mighty Team Canada junior hockey team has lost to a men’s floor hockey team from Blumenort, Manitoba. “It’s hard to top Garth Reimer on the forecheck,” said Team Canada captain Brayden […]
WINNIPEG, MB A committee of 12 American delegates have arrived in Canada this week in hopes of adding a significant amount of territory to the American empire. “Everything was going okay until we arrived in […]
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